


Day by day

by kayley88



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Cassandra Clare - Freeform, Grief, M/M, Poor Ty, after lord of shadows, at least kit is there for him, hmmm what to tag...?, i guess it is angsty, i mean his twin did die..., like a few months after whatever crap happens in queen of air and darkness, lord of shadows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 14:23:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11602452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayley88/pseuds/kayley88
Summary: In the same arms he knew so well, he heard the person, Kit, whisper in his ear once again: day by day Ty, that’s how we’ll do it- day by day.





	Day by day

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally venting out my frustration at the end of LoS in the form of a kitty fic so enjoy! Sorry for any mistakes or whatever, it's currently one in the morning and I'm rather tired. Constructive criticism is really appreciated so tell me what you think!

Ty stared up at the darkness of the ceiling of his room.

It seemed to stretch for hundreds of metres, miles even. He knew that logically that would be impossible. His ceiling was a few metres wide at best and he was being ridiculous anyway.

But Ty also knew about the dark. He knew how it distorted what you saw, changing the familiar into the fabricated. He couldn’t help but feel that the physical dark was the reciprocal for the emotions he had been feeling. Ever since that fatal council meeting a few months ago, he couldn’t not tend to the darkness that had been dwelling in his soul. Ever since Livvy died.

It still hadn’t hit him, really.

Ty still expected to be walking down the institute’s hall, headphones in and book in hand, and to see her in the training room: all a whirl of flashing sabre and flowing hair and delighted grin. Or in the room where they kept the computer, where she would furrow her brows and bite her lip as she would try to solve a frustrating code. Except now, he wouldn’t see her in those places.

In the training room, he might find Emma parrying and feinting with Cortana as she’d battle Cristina. Both their faces would be set in a grim expression as they would spend hours training and training and training. The computer room would yield far different results though.

Ty must have been seeing things when he last passed that room or it was in fact collecting dust. No one had the nerve to use that room again because it was just so strongly associated with Livvy and her adoration for computers. One early morning when he decided to get up after a restless night, Ty saw dust motes dancing in the sunrise’s light through the door which had been left ajar. Someone clearly had decided to brave the room but had abandoned the feat halfway.

Even as his gaze was unfocused and vacant, looking up at the ceiling, that dark night months later, he still couldn’t bear to see or step foot in the majority of the rooms in the institute. His head was still numb and hazy with thoughts of Livvy.

After all that had happened since she died, Ty just felt- he just felt tired. Tired of the sympathy he constantly got from others. Tired of others also patronisingly asking him if he wanted anything, anything at all. Tired of everything, and everyone.

Ty let out a ragged, stuttering breath and rolled onto his side, pillowing the side of his face with his hand. _Day by day_ , he thought. He would get through this day by day.

He remembered that at least from the first few days after she died. If he thought his brain felt numb now, it was incomparable to the suffering he endured then. He must have been catatonic to the outside world and Ty barely remembered anything from then. He did remember those words though, _day by day_. The only way to get through this would be day by day.

With that final thought in his head, he squeezed his eyes shut and hoped for the best as he slowly fell asleep.

 

-

 

Ty woke up in a blinding panic. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe. He bolted upright, breathing heavily even though it didn’t help at all. Fire ran through his veins and his body was shaking. He felt uncomfortable, everything was an irritant and he kicked the duvet off his legs. Ty blinked: once, twice, a third time. It didn’t help.

 

Without Livvy, nothing would help. _Without Livvy_. He choked back a sob and covered his mouth with a hand. He could feel the tears welling and threatening to spill. His legs shook as he swung them off his bed to cold floor. He splayed a hand to the wall as he lurched towards the door. As soon as Ty was out of his room he stumbled down the hall, hands now twisting and turning in the bottom hem of his t shirt. He didn’t know where he was going, looking for Livvy perhaps. Looking for a source of comfort. Not the sort that Julian had been straining to give him over the past few months. No, that couldn’t help. He needed Livvy. He needed her now.

 

Something seemed to stop him, whether it be a force of nature or just his human instincts. He was past Livvy’s room, past where he would usually go after an experience such as this. Ty’s breathing slowed and he found himself in front of a door.

He knew this door, after all this was where he had been coming for a while since he realised Livvy couldn’t help him this time. He knew that when he knocked on the door, the face behind it would always be a friendly face he knew, the friendliest he had seen for a while. He knew that he would be able to talk to this face and feel one hundred percent at ease with whatever he had to let out. Although, in reality, he had only known this face for a short amount of time, it felt as if he had known it his entire life and maybe even longer than that.

Raising a trembling fist to the door, Ty knocked.

 

-

 

Kit was having difficulty breathing but he could bet it wasn’t due to the same reasons as the rest of the inhabitants of the LA Institute.

There was a pounding in his head as he lifted his face out of the pillow he had seemingly fallen asleep into face first. The book he was reading was still open next to him, his hand still in the page. He groaned and let his head fall back into the pillow. It was too early, or too late. He didn’t care. He was just tired.

The pounding never ceased and after a minute, Kit realised it wasn’t in his head. He let his book fall shut and pushed himself upward on his hands. Someone was knocking on his door.

Kit felt his heart flutter with something he couldn’t name as his eyes widened and he forgot how tired he was. Kit was susceptible to this knock; he had heard it to nights prior to this one and besides, who else would come to him in the middle of the night?

He rushed to the door and his heart contracted at the sight before him. To no surprise of his Ty was stood there, his hands at his sides and his eyes staring right through Kit. _He doesn’t just look like somebody grieving_ , Kit thought. _He looks broken_.

Kit took a step forward but stopped. He knew what Ty wanted, without a doubt, but he wanted to make sure.

“Tell me,” Kit whispered, repeating what he had said all that time ago on the roof. The silence that followed that was almost unbearable. It was as if Ty hadn’t heard him at all. He just kept staring at Kit but not at Kit at the same time. Before Kit could attempt to elaborate further on what he wanted to mean, Ty stumbled forward and flung himself into Kit’s arms.

 

-

 

Ty felt at home. He felt his breath steadying, his heart slowing to a manageable pace. He let out a soft, almost-unintelligible whisper, “Livvy.”

The arms around him shifted and wound around him tighter. He did indeed feel at home. Home was where Livvy and the rest of his family were but this was different.

He knew it was different, knew it was different in the way he felt in these arms. The way he felt when he could feel an arm move up from his back to his hair and held him tightly, securing him to the reality that was this: Livvy was gone, but that didn’t mean Ty had to be gone also. Because here was someone who he didn’t understand yet understood entirely. He didn’t know how to identify or solve the mystery of the emotions that overcame his thoughts whenever he saw this person. Nor did he know why he felt the way he did, and couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps this person felt the same way as he did.

However, Ty understood home. He understood the concept of it and what warmth and sense of belonging it could bring. He also liked the concept of home; the fact that it was an undying, secure feeling that would never fail to bring him happiness. So as Ty moved even closer to this person, this home, he closed his eyes and shut out the dark grievance he always felt.

A memory flickered from the back of his mind. He remembered when he lay curled up on a bed somewhere in Idris, his hands still splayed to his chest and an unbearable pain erupted from just over his heart. He could remember feeling numb, feeling everything, feeling nothing. He didn’t want to open his eyes, for then he would have to face the horror of what had just happened. But then, someone seemed to know. Seemed to know that he was awake but he didn’t want to be. Ty had felt someone take a hand from his chest and hold it in both of theirs. He could hear a chair creak as he felt the someone whisper to him _day by day, we’ll all get through this day by day_.

In the same arms he knew so well, he heard the person, Kit, whisper in his ear once again: _day by day Ty, that’s how we’ll do it- day by day_.


End file.
